The Great Avocado Rebellion

It was a curve ball no-one had been expecting.

All those avocados millennials had been buying? Turns out only a tiny fraction of them were actually ending up in the stomachs of the entitled millennial bellies that bought them. Oh no, they had far bigger plans for them than that.

You see those pesky millennials had a plan all along; spam the internet with alluring pictures of avocado toast, get a few famous celebs to promote the tasty snack so that wealthy boomers wanted in on the action, then sit back smugly as the price of avocados plummeted due to increased supply.

Then when the prices were low enough, those devious millennials bought them all and hosted a nationwide guacamole party, inviting every corrupt politician, sleazy business executive and lying journalist in the land. It was touted by the media as the great unification, a chance to heal the wounds that had been simmering away between the generations under the surface for decades.

Little did the unsuspecting souls know, however, that the giant bowl of guacamole was actually laced with a deadly poison. Thousands that day watched in satisfaction as those who had once written the youth of the nation off as lazy entitled snowflakes, died a slow and painful death by the very food they had once mocked them for. It went down in history as one of the greatest…